As you can see I didn't end up keeping to what I said about blogging. I mean thing is I'm still having problems with sleep so I can attribute it to that I guess. Actually slept okay last night ... so here a post.
So for about a week I've been having terrible sleep, or attempts at sleep, ending up sleeping at random times during the day. What's different from the past? Oh right yeah sleep apnea. Had that for years, probably years before I found out I had it. Many years of Peter's infamous snoring probably was from sleep apnea. Also the days of sleeping during classes and such ... I mention a bit in my MIA post but I might post more about it another time just so I can get this post out.
But no I was trying to use the CPAP machine so it wasn't that. It's more likely because studies are coming up again. I've been deferring it awhile now because of health and family circumstances. Now it come round again and I'm worrying. Years of terrible studying, some due to circumstances and some due to my incompetence, has made me a bit squirmish when it comes of studying. So why don't I just not study? Well I don't have anything worth anything to get a career and I already have a hard time looking for any work I can possibly get so I'll need something more. I don't want to just study and fail again. I want to break that cycle. So what I guess is keeping me up is trying to figure out how to break that cycle. In the past I had a hard time asking for help but I think I'm a bit better at it now. I'm up for any help I can get.
Now I am a bit better at asking for help now it's more of who do I ask for help from?
When I say "life is hard, sigh" people have replied telling me not to be a pessimist, but life is suppose to be hard. If life was easy we would be of this world. This world is broken, the truth hidden from itself. I would actually be afraid if life was easy, that I was doing something wrong to be in such a position. I'm not being a pessimist when I say life is hard. I'm acknowledging it, focused on the truth, and taking another step forward hoping life doesn't become too easy.
Friday, 17 June 2016
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Sleep is good! The other stuff we can work towards ;P
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Yeah sleep is good. Try to keep it in check
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