Me scared of heights? Yes I was scared of heights, or should it be am scared of heights? Well put it this way, I'm less scared. In the past I've had a hard time standing up at heights. A few months back went to the Gold Coast. Knowing I was scared of heights I was still up to going on the roller coasters and cliff diving at rock pools.
When I was younger my dad pretty much forced me to ride a roller coaster. I guess the thing is you get on the ride on the ground. Once you get up there you have no choice. Same again at Gold Coast. However that doesn't mean I can't scream. Put this way, the day we first went to Movie World I lost my voice. Still I kept going on the rides even though each time it still freaked me out. Here's a video of me scream a bit on a giant swing. I've been on a giant swing a few times and I'm still freaking out here. And yes I added a video. Was considering adding other medias for the blog so see how far I'll go starting with this.
Cliff jumping was pretty much the same. Most of the time I was hugging the wall trying to convince myself to jump. Actually the first place we went to was probably the worst. The area where we were jumping was actually only a few metres from where the rocks were only waist high. Each time I checked when I was in the water to remind myself where NOT to jump. This was proven to not easy for everyone to do. It wasn't anyone in our group. As we were leaving a girl was pulled out of the water who managed to hurt her ankle jumping. We helped get her out. We couldn't do much else while her friends waited for an ambulance. Surprising enough we were headed to another cliff diving spot even though after witnessing this event. Over the trip we dived from four different places. Each time was scary, but it was exhilarating. Glad I didn't opt out. However jumping I did lose spare pair of glasses and my camera ... oh wells things happen.
Some people hear me talk about these things and say that they don't believe I'm scared because I can do these things like ride on roller coasters and cliff dive. So then what is being scared/fear? I think when most people hear about fear it's the type when you end up frozen on the spot and can't do anything. I think that's usually irrational fear. I agree I don't have that type of fear. I always say fear can be overcome by knowing. Knowing why things might be scary, and finding out why you shouldn't be afraid of it. So stuff like spiders and snakes don't scare me. They often just are protecting themselves when they bite so just as long as you respect that it should be fine. There are only two things I'm scared of. Heights and public speaking.
Heights was said. Most of the time I'm scared of high places because of feeling the uneasy shifting and uncertainty of the stability of the structure. True many people have probably been on it and not being the first, but I could be the first that it fails for. I'll add to this that I'm not scared of dying. However you don't always die from such accidents. Could always end up crippled or something just as bad. Rather not get myself in those situations.
And public speaking ... I just always keeping looking out into the crowd and think how each person is listening and formulating a thought, a opinion about what I've said and about me. I don't really know why I care because usually I don't mind angering one or two people with what I do. I guess it's more so the reason I'm speaking. When I'm hosting games and such, whatever it results in doesn't really matter because its just games, for fun. However when I'm talking about something important to me, I don't want to stuff it up. With so many different people I fear I can't be able to get them all to understand me. I just don't want to be only reaching a fraction of the people. I know its probably impossible to say one thing that they can all agree on but because thoughts are subjective, it might just be possible. And when I don't know how to convey that one thing I'm afraid I'm stuffing it up for those I haven't explained it correctly to. In the end it's something I need to come to terms with. Just like any rational fears, its possible to work them out ... eventually.
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